It’s so fookin early. My eyes hurt at the light behind me. Screw this. I’m going back to bed……

But I am not because I have to do that little thing us grown ups are calling work….at 8am. ugh. 8 am on Sunday. That sucks.

ANYWAY.

Things are going a lot better than where they were at… I am definitely finding it in me to move on, and have in most part, forgiven myself. What they do with what I’ve given them is up to them, and I no longer take responsibility for their own reactions and healing. Though I do wish them well.

I can see the difference though in how things are now. I am making new friends as I said. I can see this, when I am invited to some random party and walk in and get my name with exclamation points after. Or when I get random friend adds with people who actually TALK to you after they add you…though, I get hit on by men a lot…. maybe I should make it perfectly clear that I am not into that….. [shrugs]

Though I would be lying if I said that I never think about “them” you know…..I miss them wildly some days… others not as much. I told one friend that sometimes it felt like I was exiled.. which I guess I was…. but I don’t mean that to sound bad…just a passing comment…. it’s hard not to care about people that you did care about deeply….I still try to keep up with them in any way that I can…. not to bother…. just to know… because I care….and I’d like to think they do the same…

Things in general seem to be doing better. My roommate is working more, and is happier with a little bit of cash in his pocket. My other half is well, making it I think. But, she went to a party the other night, and she came back in great spirits and I think she had a great time. And I, well, I am getting there. Sometimes I wish I had people around me like I used to. That’s why I miss living on campus… if you wanna hang with someone you just go to their room and hang… but if you don’t then fuck em. You know?

I’ve been invited by work people places… but it’s hard. If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. You know? Like I wanted to go see twilight with them, but I got home and didn’t get the text and crashed. I was as tired about then as I am now. [yawns].

Gotta go throw the hair in braids for the day and see if I can wake up my roommate (its 6:45 here) and get him to move his gfs truck…. not looking forward to that….

peace.