They have all been sent now… and now it’s time to go…. move on….

right?

So now… I’ve said what I need to… I hope… for closure…. not for me just yet… but for them (as I have been told it is for them)……

and I’ve said things that I never hoped I’d have to share…. and my heart has broken each time…. only a little….

I still miss them sometimes…. and of course I wonder if they will ever miss me…. but I guess thats the price I have to pay….. for slipping so far from where I had been…..

One of them told me yesterday, not to keep beating myself up about it—- but it’s not about “it” it’s about all of everything that I did…. I beat myself up because of who I became…. who I still am….

I don’t want to be that person anymore…..