Dear life-

Are you kidding me right now?

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY?

Oh, the rain.

I had a chance to go outside this morning and run. not much, since my body is NOT used to running. but i ran for like 15-20 mins. i am hoping that i can wake up each morning (as long as there is no snow) and go out and run for a bit. work up the endurance to run longer, etc. i can already say that i feel a bit better than i have been just from my run this morning.

like just my whole body.

and the air was nice, cold, but nice. and my shower was nicer.

Now that it is getting nicer out I can wait to get the chances to go to the park and go on the swings and run around and not be INSIDE. Being stuck indoors does something to me… it’s horrible. But, I am really looking to getting in shape. i started last semester and then stopped. But if I can get in shape before camp, then I will be more effective there. etc.

anyway i have no idea why i am talking about any of this stuff. it’s all thats really going on right now. so, peace.

I am writing this before bed, so forgive me if it’s all messed up and crazy.

I just finished homework about a half hour ago. I have been doing it since about 3pm this afternoon. I came home, filed taxes and did my fafsa for school. Now my dad got remarried in June or July (he eloped) and now what the gov tells me that we can contribute is 17,000 dollars.

Now– tell me how this works American government… my father buys a new house, a few new cars, refuses to help me pay for school— every loan is in my name, I am 80 grand in debt, and you tell ME that i can’t get any federal money to help me out and I have to pay my whole freakin semester by myself?! well— FUCK YOU. not only did you do this but you also stole 250 dollars from me because i made 1000 dollars more than a student working part time should. yeah fuck you ass holes. I am moving to canada.

other than that— i am just kind of emotionally drained and now kind of physically drained. im tired, and kind of lost and confused i guess. i mean i am doing alright but sometimes old habits die hard.

ah the joys of growing up and trying to find yourself. hm?