The conversation is important! February 7, 2008

I can’t sleep (even though I should have been in bed two hours ago seeing as I have to babysit in the morning). It just seems that my night has been very eventful. First- I spoke with a friend that I hadn’t spoken with in a while (nothing has changed there). Then- I spoke with a woman at JFJ (that I shouldn’t have) who basically sent an e-mail out that I would like to say “profiled” me. I think it ended well, but who knows, she might send out another. And then right as I was about to get into bed (after finding out that my friend who had been engaged for a while ended his relationship with the girl and failed out of my school) I checked my e-mail (one last time like I always do before bed) and I had an e-mail.

And this e-mail was from Haven Herrin who is the director (i believe) of Soulforce Q. And her e-mail was to send me a link to apply to the Soulforce 2008 Equality Ride. Now we had e-mailed once or twice, and I think in one she had asked if I was interested in the Equality Ride, and I think I told her that I’d love to do it some day, but that since it was going to be next fall (my last semester) that I didn’t think it would work. So I was never expecting her to send a link my way. (She probably sent them to anyone she knew might be interested). And at first, I was a little shocked. Nervous. Hoping that the dates might be that spring. But, alas they weren’t.

So what did I do? I called my father. I asked his advice. And of course, his advice was to just finish school asap.

But even in the hour or two that I have been contemplating this, I have come up with a bunch of different ideas about it.

1. I want to do it. (Or rather I need to do it).
2. If my school actually let me come back (after possibly deferring for the semester) I would be able to graduate in the spring, and then have a better chance of getting a job (since people always expect students to be done in the spring) not only that- but I’d be able to walk without having to come back after 6 months.
3. If my school were to let me come back all I would have to do is talk with the professor I TA for (no matter how scary it might be) and tell him where I am. Why I need to go on something like the ER.
4. I could apply and not even get accepted, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this.

SO, I am going to apply– this week. And then I am going to wait, talk with my dean of students, and if all goes well with him, AND say I get accepted, I would then talk with the professor, and work everything out.

I know this can work. I need it to. I’ve known since they came to my school that I wanted to do the ER. I think the conversation is so important. Regardless of your theological beliefs, it NEEDS to be talked about. People need to know they can talk about it. (It’s here that I compare Soulforce to the “To Write Love on Her Arms” movement). Hard things MUST be talked about, because they are SO harmful if they are ignored.

You know?

If you pray, keep me in your thoughts… alright?