.was Jesus gay?!?!.

british guys have the best accents.

i find it humerous how people find my blog. they type into search engines “i have anxiety because i think i’m gay.” or “i am not gay but” or anything that has “gay” “christian” or “queer” scribbled all over the top. it’s like it is such a hard topic that people look for other people that are going through what they are or something. i am not sure if i did that once, although i may have.

i am not really sure how i find the blogs i read. i think a lot of times, they find me and then i continue reading them (if they are interesting of course). but the thing is, most blogs are interesting, unless it is some 15-year old emo girl that only talks about how depressed she is. or a pre-teen girl tht tlks lack dis. or however you do it. if i ever wrote like that i would hope that someone would take me out back and shoot me for the lack of correct grammer/spelling that i had. although, my punctuation on this site is horrible. i never capitalize what i should, i know this, but i just like typing without worrying about punctuation for once.

anyway, sorry for that rant. i am a little sensitive about the fact that i don’t worry too much about my punctuation in here (being an English major and all– but notice– i capitalized English).

so, in one of my classes (that i believe i have spoken about here) i am studying the bible as literature. it’s a pretty common class it seems within many college English departments because the bible is the number one best seller on the best seller list. and a lot of my entries at the beginning of this blog, that talk about the need for a messiah, or what i see for one, are based on this class and the reading material in them. however, recently we have been reading Luke-Acts and now, Galatians. And I must say this: the new testament makes me not believe that Jesus is the real messiah.

I know, I know, how can this be? So many people read the New Testament and say: WOW! This guy is GREAT! I want to know more about him! And, i could probably tell you that I was like that too, once. But, the more I study the New Testament, after really studying the old, Jesus doesn’t seem to be the answer. At least, not right now. Like I could deal with some of the stuff that I struggled with, in Luke-Acts. However, Galatians? Well, I hate Paul. Seriously (and i think that I have said this before but maybe it was just in a rant to a friend of mine) if Paul and I met in a dark alley somewhere, I would cut him so bad!!! [Meaning] I just really disagree with his teachings. I guess part of it comes from my bias of the fact that he really condemns the homosexuals (as his letters are used today), but with that on the backside, there is something within Galatians that as a former Jewish girl that I really struggled/wrestle with.

Circumcision.

I know that as a girl, what do I have to worry about circumcision for? Well, everything if it was part of the original covenant.

That’s the problem.

in Genesis, when God changes Abraham’s name it is like he see’s him and is just kind of like “Abraham….I like you, so this is what I am going to do for you. I am going to make your offspring (yes you will have offspring) many. In fact I am going to make a whole nation out of your seed. AND on top of that, this nation that I speak of, well they are going to bless the world.” and Abraham is all like, “whoa, God I—- I don’t know what to say. and God is all like, “Well, this is what you can do for me then.” and Abraham is like, “anything God. Anything!!!!!” and God is like, “circumcision. circumcise all the men in your house, and your slaves and their sons. everyone. do it on the eighth day. and circumcise them all. just do it. even now at 99, just do it. it will show the world that you belong to me.” and then explains how to do it. And abraham probably thinking: crap. if i want to be a nation i have to cut stuff off down there?!?!?! does it anyway. he does EXACTLY like God asks, and God changes his name, and Sarah’s. etc.

Now when Jesus comes, and a lot of Christians bank on this, he comes to re-teach the law basically, not change it exactly. But Paul, through Christ (as he claims), re-interprets the law, and says: hey listen. Gentiles. don’t worry about the whole circumcision thing. I was 8 days old, so I don’t remember mine, but you, yeah you are the true children of Abraham, and well, you are free from the law. So, don’t worry about it. Your genitals are safe.

But– the thing is, circumcision is NOT JUST the law. It’s not. It is the COVENANT. And, many Christian scholars teach that the covenant still stands, and that Jesus does bring a new covenant, but he has come so that the original covenant might be fulfilled (the blessing of the nations). However, if all of the sudden our side isn’t being fulfilled, then (as God SAYS to Abraham) we are cut out of the people. We don’t belong to them anymore.

Therefore, I would like to argue that, with Paul saying that, he is totally cutting off the gentiles from the house!! and eventually cutting off the Christians from the original chosen. AND if you want to be all literal about it, Jesus says that the Gentiles are grafted into an already flourishing bush. But, I believe that by not being circumcised (as was the conclusion of the Jerusalem Council) Christians are no longer grafted in. This is why they have such a hard time being a blessing, I think, besides all of their faults. But then again, I might be getting ahead of myself.

I am just saying, that Paul’s big complaint in Galatians is that the people are listening to these missionaries that have come to them saying GET CIRCUMCISED! and he calls them foolish for listening to them.

I hate Paul. Period.

I guess this doesn’t have MUCH to do with Jesus, himself, just rather, someone who a lot of the Christians bank on for rules.

And what I find very interesting also, is that Christians talk about how we are free from the law and stuff. We don’t have to worry about these rules, and yet all of the sudden there are all these rules about sins and how not to, and stuff. To be quite honest, I would much rather be an observant jew, than a Christian. Christians have just as many rules, they just make you feel worse for not living up to them.

And— this is just a side note to it all: IF you are going to take one verse from the law (leviticus or whatever) you better be ready to apply them all. You can’t just pick and choose. seriously. if Jesus came to be the continuation of the law, the actualization of the law, completing of the law, you can just pick and choose which aspects you like. that’s not the point.

[end rant][again]